Once by the River
by neonate
Summary: Hyuuga Hinata battled the summer heat and herself.


Author's Notes: This is meant to be a companion fic for "Two In August," but it can stand alone as a one-shot. Tell me what you think of it.

**Once by the River**

A small pebble made its way over the water surface, bouncing twice before plunging down. The ripple formed perfect circles, and grew wider, unbroken.

The girl who threw that pebble was sitting still by the riverbanks, watching nature progress.

A smile formed.

She flipped her hair gently and felt the breeze tingling her right ear. Oh, it was the equivalent of heaven in this humid weather. Her jacket and training outfit discarded, she only wore a black, sleeveless top. Underneath were the training bandages wrapped around her torso. They held her growing breasts firmly in place. It would be difficult for her, as a kunoichi, to move if extra weights were bouncing up and down as she ran.

She squirmed, restless.

Her father made her tie these plain, white cloths around her slim body ever since she was ten. It was a good practice. Every morning, every day she would do it silently, obeying her father's command like the good daughter she was. One turn, two turns, and three. Then a tight knot. Finished, in front of her mirror, she would eye her flattened chest, tracing the almost non-existent curves.

Every female shinobi she knew did this. Again, it was a common practice. A logical choice.

Funny that she would always feel trapped, as if the bandages were there to constraint her every move. _They help form a good, straight posture, _she then reassured herself. _Don't whine._

Her morning reflection in the mirror looked like a feminine boy. She could pass as a male, if it weren't for her gentle complexion and features. She asked herself every time she saw this other image, _Would I look like that if I were born a boy?_

Maybe.__

Then as it had always been, came the next question.

_Would I be stronger then? Like Neji-niisan?_

Maybe.

Then she had to ask the third question, the last part of the little ritual she performed daily in front of her mirror.

_Would Father love me more if I were a boy?_

The question was never answered.

Hinata always cut her private thoughts at that point because she didn't want self-disgusts to haunt her for the whole day.

And by this little creek, she sat alone. Always alone. Nobody had ever found this hidden, little spot. Somehow that fact made her happy. Something did belong to her, wholly untouched by others. She found peace in this solitude.

_Loneliness, you mean_, a voice said.

Hinata silenced it immediately.

The heat was getting to her. It was unusual for Konoha to see such an intense summer. She felt warm all over; her cheeks burning. It might not be the best of idea to be outside when the sun was trying to roast the earth, along with its inhabitants. She would have sunburn after this, but it was worth it.

But the dampness was bothering her. The bandages were absorbing her sweat, and they felt itchy against her skin. She scratched her back and her neck, but what she really wanted was to be free of these binds.

It's weird how these cloths could wrap around her like chains, limiting and debilitating. Like the very small cage she called her family.

Sometimes she did loosen the knots, but the images of her father's glaring eyes stopped her from doing anything further.

Hinata sighed.

It felt really uncomfortable.

But she had to bear it as a kunoichi. _That's right. Just tough it, Hinata._

She scratched her side with more vigor, but it didn't help. Her skin got sore instead. Now she had two choices: to stay itchy or lose the bandages.

The second choice was very tempting, though she hesitated for about a minute or two before finally giving in.

Carefully she lifted her black top and revealed her wrapped torso. Although the bandages covered most of her skin, Hinata had never felt more naked in her life. Underneath all those plain cloths were bare skin.

_I couldn't do it,_ she thought, _It was too embarrassing_.

On the other hand, there's still the option of swimming. Her bandages and her pants would cover the private parts, and at the same time the cool water would give her an instant gratification from the weather. That would be perfect.

If only she knew how to swim.

The best she could do was to stay in the shallow water, and she didn't have any change of clothes. Suddenly the option was the least desirable of all three.

_You're an idiot, Hinata._

Maybe she could just sit there and live through all the heat and the itch. She's really good at that, accepting whatever happened to her.

Well, if something was meant to happen, then it would happen. It couldn't be helped. Just like the meaning of that phrase she occasionally muttered when she thought no one was watching.

_Shikata ga nai._

It summed up her whole situation aptly.

She didn't know when that phrase started becoming her source of comfort when she was faced with a difficult situation, but it had gotten her through a lot of humiliation. Losing to your baby sister every single day, for example.

Of course she tried her best, and trained harder, but when her effort was not good enough, that phrase reminded her to not drown in self-pity. It couldn't be helped now, but what about _later_ when she had trained more? Besides, she was going to find her own ninja way, wasn't she?

Just like Naruto-kun.

She wasn't giving up, but she also knew to accept things. The question now, would she really be fine with this heat, dampness, and spreading itch? Would she let them to just happen?

_No,_ she thought,_ no more_. If she wanted to be free, then it's time to start struggling. It's time to open that cage's door.

Making sure once again that she was alone, Hinata loosened the knot, and expertly unwound the damp bandages with one hand, while the other hand tried to save her modesty. One turn, two turns, and finally the last one. When the cloths were completely taken off, leaving her bare, she took a deep breath, and welcomed the slight breeze.

_Is this how it feels to be free?_

Hinata drew her knees to her chest with both hands covering her breasts. She stayed uncovered like that for a while as she savored this newfound feeling. Just breathing slowly, and opening her senses to the surrounding.

The tingling on her skin made her aware that she was a woman, more than anything else at that moment. She blushed slightly, feeling the soft flesh under her palms. No, she was not a feminine boy, or a good daughter, or a kunoichi, or an heir to the noble Hyuuga clan.

She was Hinata, a girl.

Putting back her sleeveless top, she smiled. The weights on her chest had never been lighter. She noticed the visible mounds that now filled her top, and felt alive. Suddenly everything seemed brighter.

Taking another small pebble, she threw it into the water. It bounced three times before going down. Perfect circles formed and grew wider, and wider. Watching them, Hinata felt she had cracked the shell of her former self. She would grow to be like the ripple, steady and unbroken. When it could no longer contain her, the shell would be broken.

And when that time came she would remember this day.

The day she broke the chains, and put one foot outside the cage.

The first day of her fourteenth summer.

_Owari_


End file.
